As a child growing up in the 1960s and 1970s I watched black-and-white television and, in that same period, the invention of color television.
Several shows in that era, like, “Father Knows Best,” “Ozzie and Harriet” and “Leave It to Beaver,” portrayed the ideal suburban American family life. Life in those years was portrayed as simplistic, suburban family life. Fathers worked, mothers stayed home and cared for the children. The role of fathers was characterized as a family man who instilled values and built moral character, teaching his children through life lessons and discipline.
What was real, aside from television characterization, family was important to fathers and they wanted what was best for their children. Fathers were less involved in the daily life of their children, except often the disciplinarian with strict rules of what was allowable, along with some very stern expectations for their children.
Fast forward to the 21st century and fatherhood has changed significantly over the years. The change is mostly for the positive, despite life, work and stresses families and fathers experience today.
Traditional roles have changed. In most households, both parents work and there is a more equal responsibility. Fathers share home responsibilities once thought of as the responsibility of mothers, such as laundry, grocery shopping and cooking. Both the father and mother assume responsibility in parenting and raising their children.
Fathers today also seek to instill values, build moral character and teach their children through life lessons and discipline, but in very different ways. Fathers now feel to be a “good dad” they need to be an example for their children, and it is necessary to take an active role in their children’s day-to-day lives.
Fathers have become more involved at home in helping their children get up in the morning, dressed, breakfast and transported to daycare or school. They are more involved in their children’s education and homework. During COVID-19 many fathers met the additional challenge in helping with virtual home schooling.
Even though it may be an extension to their day, they make time to participate in extracurricular school activities and parent-teacher meetings. Fathers engage children in shared hobbies, sports and other activities, which help their children in exploring growth opportunities.
The deeper involvement of a father in these ways brings positive strength to children. The HuffPost shares some of these strengths and impacts fathers’ involvement is bringing to the lives of their children as they grow and in adulthood.
• Positive, social-emotional involvement
• Academic success, higher levels of career, economic success
• Daughters are more ambitious, sons have less delinquency
• Healthier marriages and children
• Less prone to depression
• Higher self-esteem and positive self-image
The best things that can be said about fathers today is that they are present and attempt to nurture the best in their children. They desire for them to feel loved and accepted for who they are. In one father’s words, “We have many obligations to fulfill in taking care of our children and ensuring that they grow up right. We must be there, ready to serve as a role model, teacher, mentor, counselor and as a friend they can trust. Fatherhood has changed over the years, but that doesn’t mean it’s any easier. It just happens to be a lot more fun.”
Deborah Humphrey, MBA, BSN, RN is the Executive Director of the Madison County Mental Health Board. She has over 30 years of experience in behavioral health and 20 years working with county government in her previous mental health board position. She has been the president of the Association of Community Mental Health Authorities of Illinois and commissioned to serve statewide on the Illinois Children’s Mental Health Partnership. She has been a member of the Southern Illinois University Edwardsville School of Social Work board, a leader in local boards, advisory councils, committees and workgroups working to advance and enhance behavioral health services in the Metro East.
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June 09, 2021 at 05:07AM
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Community Spotlight: Fathers still know best - The Edwardsville Intelligencer
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